St. Louis, Missouri!
Martina's wedding with my cousins!
Prima Convention @ Chatos bar!
Birthday Suprise!
My best friends!
Love my boys! Tony and FernandoMonday, December 14, 2009
Past, Present and anxiously awaiting a pleasant future.
2009. Where do I even begin? This year has definitely taught me a lot about myself. When I look back on this year I definitely remember pain and heartache but also strength and determination. The beginning of 2009 didn't start off as well as I had hoped. For the first time ever, I felt like I was alone in being strong for others. My mother is a mere image of what defines strength, perserverance and determination. She was the one who kept my family together through hard times, but this year something changed. For once she needed her kids, instead of us needing her. This year's events though brought my family closer than ever, I saw sides to my brothers that I would have never imagined, and a sweet side to my mother needing the love from her kids. My Mom and brothers define me, they are who I am. Family is where it all begins, and the love we have for one another is like no other.
Internally, I hit a lot of bumps in the road this year. I went from being in a 5 year relationship to realizing during a wedding in March that it just wasn't right for me. You know when family members come up to you, and are convinced that you and your b/f or g/f are meant to get married, and the pressure of "when" is even mentioned? Although my cousin Martina's wedding in Nicaragua was once of the best weddings I have ever been too, it was also a rude awakening towards my future. I realized shortly after the wedding that the relationship I was currently in for 5 years wasn't working for either one of us. I knew it would be one of the hardest decisions of my life. My first love just wasn't right for me. We weren't right for each other. Along with that came the pain, the greiving process, and slowly but surely the healing. Whoever said break-ups and heart-aches were easy?? But with every passing day, I know it was the right decision for me. That my love for him at that time was real, but sometimes people grow old and grow apart.
Growing from this experience is what I have done. With the bad comes the good. Unconditional support from family and friends. The things I never did the past five years were all just so new to me. They were fun! Concerts, Cocoa Beach, Birthday Boat party surprise, St. Louis family reunion, Six Flags, beach days, partying like rockstars, reconnecting with old highschool friends, and made some new ones. I had a pretty awesome summer considering the circumstances. My best friends Jenny, Rina and Jen..where would I be without these girls? Coffin and Diego (brother and hermanito)... Tony and Fernando, Lil and Sam? My cousin Jenny is like a sister to me and my brothers all four of them, are more like best friends and less like fathers.. and as they all say: "Amanda is back, my Manda is back". I can honestly say, I am truly back, and its so good to be back!
Personal goals are important for me. Finishing school is one of the top on my list. And I'm almost there! April 2010! Through obstacles I feel like I am so close I can almost taste it. However, a personal goal of mine is to pursue my masters in politcal science. I'm still sorting things out, but anyone that knows me knows I have a love for politics, and would love to help those in need. I decided leaving Outback was the last big change that I needed. I started working at a dental office. It's not exactly what I expected or isn't really my forte, but a much needed change. I still need change though, I would rather work within my areas of study (International Business and Management) or in an organization helping those in need. But lets just say changing jobs is a stepping stone to the success in my future. And hope that god willing everything will fall into place.
When its all said and done, 2009 has been one hell of a year. Hard most definitely, but would not trade any experience in the world because I've grown from it and has brought me back. I couldn't be any blessed for those that stood by me, gave me strength and were there every step of the way. I am anxiously awaiting 2010. Because I know good things are to come. I can feel it and I can't wait to see whats in store!
Internally, I hit a lot of bumps in the road this year. I went from being in a 5 year relationship to realizing during a wedding in March that it just wasn't right for me. You know when family members come up to you, and are convinced that you and your b/f or g/f are meant to get married, and the pressure of "when" is even mentioned? Although my cousin Martina's wedding in Nicaragua was once of the best weddings I have ever been too, it was also a rude awakening towards my future. I realized shortly after the wedding that the relationship I was currently in for 5 years wasn't working for either one of us. I knew it would be one of the hardest decisions of my life. My first love just wasn't right for me. We weren't right for each other. Along with that came the pain, the greiving process, and slowly but surely the healing. Whoever said break-ups and heart-aches were easy?? But with every passing day, I know it was the right decision for me. That my love for him at that time was real, but sometimes people grow old and grow apart.
Growing from this experience is what I have done. With the bad comes the good. Unconditional support from family and friends. The things I never did the past five years were all just so new to me. They were fun! Concerts, Cocoa Beach, Birthday Boat party surprise, St. Louis family reunion, Six Flags, beach days, partying like rockstars, reconnecting with old highschool friends, and made some new ones. I had a pretty awesome summer considering the circumstances. My best friends Jenny, Rina and Jen..where would I be without these girls? Coffin and Diego (brother and hermanito)... Tony and Fernando, Lil and Sam? My cousin Jenny is like a sister to me and my brothers all four of them, are more like best friends and less like fathers.. and as they all say: "Amanda is back, my Manda is back". I can honestly say, I am truly back, and its so good to be back!
Personal goals are important for me. Finishing school is one of the top on my list. And I'm almost there! April 2010! Through obstacles I feel like I am so close I can almost taste it. However, a personal goal of mine is to pursue my masters in politcal science. I'm still sorting things out, but anyone that knows me knows I have a love for politics, and would love to help those in need. I decided leaving Outback was the last big change that I needed. I started working at a dental office. It's not exactly what I expected or isn't really my forte, but a much needed change. I still need change though, I would rather work within my areas of study (International Business and Management) or in an organization helping those in need. But lets just say changing jobs is a stepping stone to the success in my future. And hope that god willing everything will fall into place.
When its all said and done, 2009 has been one hell of a year. Hard most definitely, but would not trade any experience in the world because I've grown from it and has brought me back. I couldn't be any blessed for those that stood by me, gave me strength and were there every step of the way. I am anxiously awaiting 2010. Because I know good things are to come. I can feel it and I can't wait to see whats in store!
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